That Dreaded White Screen

12 May

ETA: I typed this in yesterday but am only getting it posted today… Read on and you’ll understand why… 😉

I’ve been staring at it for close to 48 hours now. I click on Internet on my computer, and normally I get my msn homepage from which I launch into my wonderful day of work and play. Sometimes, when the net connections are iffy, I get a white screen with that message below (trying to connect…) and I know if it takes about 5 seconds, there’s definitely something wonky going on.


Well. Let’s just say I’ve stared at that white screen for so often this week, I almost feel it’s a wall I can climb.


I need a new router. I need it soon. Like yesterday. Or I’m seriously going to need to be committed. Haha.


I feel so bad that I can’t get to the Up & Runners on the forums and the galleries. Jes, hang on! I’ll be there as soon as I can fly on the internet waves!


Making the Most of It

So… what to do when I can’t get to my Up & Running friends, my Spraground family, and my one-million virtual field trips? I do what I should’ve done way way back. Start cleaning up my compy’s guts. Start trying to make sense of the kajillion gigabytes of digistash I’ve accumulated over the past year and a half. And maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll actually get to organize some of them in ACDSee. Maybe.


So here I am, in between stifling sighs and the urge to scream in frustration, in between constantly clicking on the Internet button and hoping and praying I’ll get more than a five-minute connection before it disappears into the virtual black hole again…


Catharsis

So while fixing my files in my compy, guess what shows on HBO? StepMom, that movie that stars Susan Sarandon, Julia Roberts, and Ed Harris. That movie that is sooo real, where the line that separates the “bad guy” from the “good guy” is so blurred that it’s totally believable. (I love that. I mean, is there really a bad guy through and through, who has not a sliver of goodness in him? I doubt it. And for that matter, is there really a good, good person who has not a sliver of weakness in him? Doubt that too. So this is so real. You don’t know who to hate because you can totally identify with the characters, so in the end you end up loving them all.)


I don’t know if it’s because the past week has been particularly stressful, having to deal with daily (I kid you not; DAILY, as in every single day) trips to the hospital for my kids… mostly for vaccines but the one that worried me a lot was my little baby whom we were afraid would need surgery for 2 masses that started to grow… and Saturday morning, when we saw our pediatric surgeon, he declared immediately that there would be no need for surgery; that the masses were due to hyperactive glands; that they would resolve themselves in time. I had a bum stomach the entire week waiting for that appointment with the doctor to push through, and that very same day that I found out my little one was free (and I’m absolutely positive that it’s all due to the prayers of my Spraground family and my friends in real life), the stomach issues disappeared. Stress.


(So thank you, thank you, my dearest Spraground family, for all your kind thoughts and prayers).


So. I don’t know if it was that stressful week. Or the fact that I missed the Up & Runners’ chat that Jes and I had scheduled for this morning (not for lack of trying to connect). Or the fact that I can’t get to my virtual workplace even if I want to. Or the fact that I’m again way behind with visiting with you on my blog porch. Or the fact that I lost my mom when I was a kid and had a stepmom whom I loved dearly (and lost too eventually). Or the fact that I’ve been trying to be valiantly cheerful while wanting to kick this dumb router for being so unresponsive (and let me tell you, the support of my DSL service provider did not have a solution for me… in fact, I think the guy knew even less than my hubby, who called them to get them to fix it for us).


But. The fact is… I cried. Buckets. Pails. Pools. Heaves and sobs. I totally sobbed my heart out . So my eyes look terrible and I look almost as ashen as Susan Sarandon did towards the end of her days as her movie character.


But you know what? I needed that cry. Strange. But it felt good after.


And so here I am, typing my blog entry into Word, waiting for that magic moment when I’ll be able to connect to the net… at least long enough to get this post up on my blog.


(((hugs))) to you and do know that I’ve been missing you!


I’ll be back soon for another post! I have my router fixed (thanks to my always-knight-in-shining-armor, resident compy geek hubby)… so I am alive again!!! WOOHOO!!! 😀

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15 Responses to “That Dreaded White Screen”

  1. Joanie Tuesday, 1 July 2008 at 12:21 pm #

    Thank you so much for these clever templates.

    Like

  2. ~Ann Monday, 19 May 2008 at 10:19 am #

    You have sure been having your share of “life”. Keep up your spirits and just enjoy the heck outta the good days.

    Like

  3. Donna S Sunday, 18 May 2008 at 11:00 pm #

    Liv – oh my what a scarw with your littlest one. Thank goodness all is ok. I’m sure your week was not easy.
    Glad your compy was fixed… 48 hours – man what a bummer!
    I have been very absent as of late, but think I might be able to scrap soon again, and spend some time in the playground!

    Like

  4. Jackie Saturday, 17 May 2008 at 11:30 am #

    I have been missing you girlfriend…between my not being on the computer and you not being there..I missed your episodes with your kids and your tummy…Hope all is going well now for you and things are going back to normal

    Like

  5. Anke Friday, 16 May 2008 at 9:02 am #

    Oh Liv, I am just now reading this, you are not the only one who is behind. I am so glad things worked out okay with your little one, my middle DD has aortic stenosis, and I remember the fears waiting to find out what the next step would be. There is nothing worse than having to worry about your children! Everything else can be fixed or will pass! Sometimes we just need a good cry, it makes things easier to take.

    Like

  6. aprildawncreations Thursday, 15 May 2008 at 1:40 am #

    Liv, Liv, Liv!! I am so sending you all the well wishes in me, along with my prayers for comfort for you and yours! I am crying to thinking of how horrible that was for you! Thank goodness for the good news, and the cathartic cry!

    And don’t you just LOVE the adorably geeky computer hubby in shining armor! I have one myself, and he is irreplaceable in my life and heart! Anyway, know I am here with you whenever and whatever you need!

    And, just a side note, THANK YOU for all the support you give on the Spraground. I truly mean what I say when I say, “I wouldn’t be where I am without it!!”

    Like

  7. farabee Wednesday, 14 May 2008 at 9:43 am #

    Just reading this. Thank you Precious Lord for the health and well-being of Liv’s youngest! And even tho it pales in comparison, thanks for getting her up and running on the compy again!

    We missed you. We care. -L

    Like

  8. Linda W Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 7:11 am #

    Hey,

    I soooooooooooo understand the call of the “much-needed cry”…had one myself this week. It’s amazing how much can store up inside of us until the dam finally breaks. I’m convinced it’s one of the most cathartic things we can do for ourselves sometimes, though. Did you ever see that movie Broadcast News with Holly Hunter? She SCHEDULED a cry every day…a bit extreme but the point wasn’t lost on me. Here’s to a much better week!
    All the best,
    Linda

    Like

  9. Deb P. Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 2:41 am #

    Dearest Liv … do you feel that? It’s the humongous hug I just sent your way!!! It’s just a tiny squeeze compared to what you are getting next month in Chicago!!!!!

    And … Here is my prayers for you that all your compy, router, health problems … ahhh heck … ALL YOUR WORRIES AND TROUBLES just floated away on that river of tears you shed. Now nothing but sunny skies and happy days ahead for you!

    Love you sistah!!!!

    Like

  10. Lindsan Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 2:05 am #

    Just hugs. Nothing more, nothing less. Just hugs.

    Like

  11. dawns Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 1:52 am #

    Liv…I’m so glad everything worked out for your little guy (we were keeping him in our prayers). Thank your knight-in-shining armor for us…his efforts are much appreciated! It’s very healing to have a good cry every now & then. I believe this quote is so very true…The cure for anything is salt water—sweat, tears or the sea.

    Like

  12. latz Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 1:30 am #

    Such a great praise for your son! Sorry about the compy problems–sometimes you don’t know if you should cry or just throw the darn thing out the window–sounds like you had the good cleansing cry (and sorry if all those men in the family just don’t get it). lots more hugs coming your way!

    Like

  13. Jenni Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 1:00 am #

    Hey Liv- I hear you.
    My internet, my vista and ACDSee glitches, my little one sick (not seriously though).
    Yes, I’ve had just a tiny fraction of the difficulties you’ve had.
    But still the buckets. The faucet is ON. And drippy. But cleansing too. Strange, isn’t it?
    So, I hear you.
    Glad things are all looking up.
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Like

  14. Heather Tuesday, 13 May 2008 at 12:32 am #

    Oh Liv… just imagining you clutching your youngest one to your heart… makes me teary. Thank the Lord he (and you) are well.

    Computer issues will eventually go away. 🙂 But I’m doing cartwheels for your family for the clean bill of health!

    Much love to you, dear Liv!!!!

    Like

  15. Veevs Monday, 12 May 2008 at 8:27 pm #

    Hi matey, just little me sending you tons of big big (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))!!! Hope your computer woes get fixed, I know how frustrating it is when you cant connect! Catch you later matey!! TQM!!

    Like

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